This Week { & today’s thoughts }

Treatment begins on Tuesday.

It’s felt like such a long time coming, so it’s a little surreal that treatment is finally here. I will go to Iowa City once a week for the next 4 weeks and then begin radiation after that. Seriously thank you for your prayers – here are a couple requests for the week ahead:

  • No (or limited) side effects from the Immunotherapy.
  • That I’d continue processing well – as the shock wears off it’s a different kind of processing.
  • FULL recovery of my knee! With the help of physical therapy, it’s starting to bend so walking has been much easier. Still praying the swelling goes away and I get my full range of motion back before radiation starts!

Reflections from church this morning:

This summer at Cornerstone we’re studying the book of Galatians & today we arrived at the classic section in chapter 5 on the fruit of the spirit – traditionally referred to as “fruits” of the spirit – you know… love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, & self-control. Mark pointed out that a common way this passage is misapplied is when we pluck one of them out & try to ‘work on’ that thing. Instead the list is describing what comes out of a person who has the Spirit of God in them. It’s the indicator of what’s inside – when you poke them, it’s what comes out.

Always formed in different ways, but the most common response people have to my cancer is of praising the ways in which I’ve responded to it, which has been so interesting to me because it feels unconscious to me. Something I’ve observed is that when you go through something so wacky as this last 2 months, you have zero time to pre-think anything. I don’t often have the luxury of considering how I want to respond, I just respond. I don’t have control over my emotions, I just feel things. For example, I’m not trying to feel peace, there’s just been a rest in my soul { even through lots of tears } knowing that God is completely sovereign over my life. But God’s been teaching me that in 100 different ways, through so many different avenues over the years.

I definitely don’t say that to self-praise my response to the last couple months, but to give praise where praise is due. Since Jesus saved me in 2005, He gave me His Spirit & has fought to keep me on the path of righteousness. He’s been pruning me, humbling me, & chipping away at parts of my character that don’t look like Jesus. So I know that anything “good” about my response to this suffering is actually just the fruit of the Spirit inside of me doing His thing. The longer He’s making me more like Jesus, the better & more honoring to God the fruit of my life will be { Lord, may it be so }.

All the more reason to take seriously the hard work of digging deep roots in Jesus – you’ll never know when you will need to be seriously supported by those roots.

What’s coming next in Galatians 6: “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.”


There’s always a song or two during worship these days that make the tears flow – this morning it was You Never Change, by Austin Stone (click here).

Oh may I run to no other refuge
No other rest for my soul
Oh may I drink from no other fountain
Where living waters will flow

Jesus, You’re all I need

You are my life, may You be lifted high
There is no other like Jesus Christ
You are my story, You’re my everything
You are my glory, my God, and my King
You are my rock, and You never change

No other power can break the darkness
No other hand that can save
Forever faithful, Your love is stronger
I trust in no other name

My strength to stand, all of my days are in Your hand
My light to see, Your glory goes before me
My King, You reign, My rock, and You never change
No, You never change